Only Human

I’ve always tried to live my life in a way that would be considered "living above reproach." I learned at a young age what this meant and it became my way of doing things. I never wanted people to question how I was living my life; I wanted what they were seeing to truly be who I was. As I have grown up I have been placed in some pretty incredible and unique situations that I have realized have made people wonder, who I am. I would even get caught up in worrying so much about what other people were thinking or how my actions may be perceived, that I was beginning to miss the joy in just living life.

Recently, my parents, stopped me and told me, “Tenley, you are 26 years old, you have lived a very honest life, and you have experienced some unique things, and have experienced some really hard life trials… don’t worry so much of what others are thinking of you; enjoy your life.” I needed to hear this, I had started living in such a way that I was getting caught up in how my life looked to others, and always being above "their' reproach. This is important, but I am only human, and I shouldn’t be so worried what others are thinking of me or how I might disappoint someone. Like I said, I’m only human, I’m bound to disappoint people along the way, there’s no way I can please everyone, and I shouldn’t act like it’s possible.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve really been learning how to live, and I want to live in a way that is honorable, but also spontaneous and free! This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be responsible for my actions, but I shouldn’t worry so much what others may think. This itself is a very free way to live! I believe this is how I’m supposed to live my life. I’m not saying that I’ve been making horrible decisions, but I was holding myself back from opportunities or life experiences as I was too wrapped up in being concerned that I was going to disappoint someone.

Now, on the other hand, it is extremely important to me that I still do, "the right thing" - not according to other people and their personal standards - but according to the way I have chosen to live my life. For me, it’s all about who I'm living it for, and that's not for me, or for anyone else but God. I don't want to do anything that would be detrimental to building my relationship with Him. However, I don't always get it right. Thank goodness for grace.

On that note, I hope that people will keep in mind that things aren't always as they appear. My wish is that people will know me for me, and not someone edited on a television show. I have been so blessed with people believing in me, supporting me, and knowing where my heart is.

Tenley

“It’s by grace and love I’m saved. It’s by grace and love you have forgiven me. And by the love and grace I’m amazed, and it’s by grace and love I am free…” - Kutless

Speak Love, Act Love, Live Love.
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